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Sleepy-Genius
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PostSubject: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 8:07 pm

Flame

Our love is like a FLAME
That burns wild with passion
A FLAME that no one can put out
Full of energy that keeps growing stronger
Warm enough to keep us from ever being cold
Lively,
To let others know it will never die out.
Free to do whatever it pleases
So long as it enjoys what it does
Always eager to do what it can
But can became angry if it’s not happy
It keeps shinning brightly
To keep us from ever losing sight each other
So we will be here, always with each other
Forever in love,
Even if that FLAME burns out

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Last edited by Sleepy-Genius on March 15th 2012, 8:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sleepy-Genius
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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 8:10 pm

Life

There are so many things on my mind
Things that I have yet to understand
Things that keep my hopes low
This keeps me from ever being able to float freely
Soaring the inviting blue sky and not think of nothing
But everything other than what I have to
But it is hard
There is always something new to think of
Something that I do not want to think of in the first place
And it makes it even harder for me to get rid of
Everything is so stressful now
Why did it have to happen now?
Now, when it comes time for me to become responsible
And depend more on myself than others
Everyday seems more complicated and more emotional
There seems to be a never ending break for me
And I do not think that there will ever be one
But I wish there would be
Even just for one day
A day that I do not have to worry about anything
But myself
Wishfully, that day will come soon
And there will be a peace of mine, not only for me
But for everyone and everything else
But when will it come?
Neither I nor no one else knows
Perhaps it will come whenever things start to calm down
And when I start to see that I am no longer a child
But a young woman that will have to face much more
Challenging dilemmas in her future
And no one can exactly help her find ever answer to every problem
That may come her way
Eventually, she will come to see that all of those continuous stressful
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months…year
Will be a big help in her future decisions
But now in the present, it is hard to see it that way
Because of how things are going now
Broken-hearted, nerve-racked, pressured...
…Confused…
What must I do to make these things go much easier?
Should I just ignore it and continue what I was doing?
Must I find out how to solve these problems and understand them?
What will happen if I do not do anything?
These questions are sometimes always on mind, even if I am not
Thinking of them
But as I go on and on about these non-stop problems,
I seem to forget about a couple of things
One of those things is that I am never alone.
I have many people I can talk to for comfort
Even if they do not seem to understand
Another is that I have a guardian angel that is always with me
Waiting for the granted permission from me
So it can help me with anything I may have troubles with
And help to get to that stress free day I have been longing to reach
And all of this madness will be over, everything on the inside that is
What goes on with the rest of the world? Not my problem.

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Last edited by Sleepy-Genius on March 15th 2012, 8:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 8:11 pm

Imagination

Are you for real?
The person I have been waiting for
The love I have been dreaming of
The one who can take away my fears
It’s too good to be true for you to be here with me every step of the way
Even through all my faults
Am I dreaming of you?
Show yourself!!!!
To let me know you are real so I won’t fool myself If you are true or not
But why come to me?
When you could go to someone else
And be twice as happy and be twice as loved
What can I give you?
That you don’t already have
If there’s more of what you want
Please tell me
Don’t hide or deny in my face
Tell how you feel every minute of the day
As it fades away into the arms of the heavens
What do think about when I tell you this?
“It’s not over. It hasn’t begun yet. Yet, I want you so much
That it makes me angry. I want you to obey me. I want
You to respect, to need me, to love me, to let me hold you,
But you won’t let me, but what have I done to you to make
You close and hide away from me. I want old you to awake
Again and the new to go back sleep because I’m love with
That person and if I wasn’t, I’d leave.”
Love, when you said that
It had me crying for what may never come true
I felt so bad not knowing what had happened
The feeling inside not so warm with neither love nor pleasure
It was the feeling of a knife stabbing in one’s heart
How could I have not known about this?
Love me, trust me…stay with me
I know that there’s a way
And if it means it hurting me anymore…
…I’ll find it…whatever it may be…to keep you here with me
My lover, my best friend, my everything

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Last edited by Sleepy-Genius on March 15th 2012, 8:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 8:14 pm

I'm Sorry

I’m sorry...
...for all the things I’ve said
...for all the things I should not have said
...for not taking us seriously
...for giving to too easily
...for doing some of the things I do
...but I never meant to hurt you
...for not always thinking of you
...for not taking time out and calling you
...if I hurt this relationship

I guess we are on the wrong ship

I’m sorry...
...for having you come here to see me
...for having you fall in love with me
...but I’m still so damned confused
...yet I still feel so used
...that I want you back
...I don’t have to pack

Because I’m never leaving you and that’s a fact

I’m sorry...
...if I made you want to leave
...if you have my heart on your sleeve
...I can’t always be perfect
...because I’m not perfect
...that you think I’m beautiful
...that I think I’m pitiful
...about this morning
...that the ride was boring
...about last night

I know that wasn’t right

I’m sorry...
...if your heart has changed
...if I’ve changed
...that we both take control
...we’re in this big hole
...because I’m scared
...I never thought you cared
...for you always being there
...what I did; that was not fair
...maybe we’re not meant for each other

But whoknows, we may be just right for each other

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Sleepy-Genius
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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 8:16 pm

Controlled

All my life people have influenced me
It doesn’t matter if they never say anything to me
Or do anything to me
They just do
It’s empathic!!
I feel their pain, really!!
Like I’m inside of them
Feeling every emotion that they go through
It’s confusing!!
Not knowing which emotion(s) are mine
Not knowing what they feel like
Not knowing how to understand them
Why?
People, is my answer
Very influential
I’m shy because of confusion
And not having enough trust in myself
I’ve been like that for a long time
Always quiet and obedient
It’s like I’m a programmed robot
Ordered to do whatever its creator tells it to
It’s a terrible feeling
When will it end…

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Sleepy-Genius
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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 8:23 pm

Why I LOVE you?

There are so many things that I LOVE about you
I just don’t know where to start
But here are some of the things that I LOVE about you
I LOVE the way you walk; so dignified and manly
I LOVE the way you talk; very sexy and smooth
I LOVE how you treat me; with respect and high priority
I LOVE how you surprise me; always with something new and exciting
I LOVE your company; there to comfort me when I when I feel alone
I LOVE it when you laugh; it makes everything bad turn into good
I LOVE your strength; protects me from any harm that comes our way
I LOVE your mind; creative and thoughtful, super intelligent
I LOVE how you respect your parents; never forgot that they created you
I LOVE your sense of humor; keeping me entertained with your unique personality and wit
I LOVE how you always make time for me; even with your very busy schedule, you always find time for me no matter what
I LOVE the way you not yell; when we fight, you know that I’m a sensitive person so you don’t yell because you know that you’ll hurt my feeling
I LOVE the way you respect my friends; you treat them as though they were your family with lots of compassion
I LOVE the way you keep your cool; when you get mad, you don’t lash it out on other people, especially on me
I LOVE you quick thinking; you always know what to say and do in awkward situations
Most of all, I LOVE the way you read my mind; you always know what I am thinking and exactly how I feel
There are many more, more wonderful things LOVE about you
So many that it is so hard to name all of them
But I think you know the rest

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Sleepy-Genius
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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 8:27 pm

I wrote these when I was in high school before and after I moved to California in 2005. Since I could never express most of these feelings, my friends and peers did for me. They always had something wrong with them, mostly boy/girl problems and related things. I was using what I thought they felt, and tried to use my own thoughts. Funny, I don't write like I did before. Maybe I was just bored then but not so much now. I felt like doing something.

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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 11:18 pm

I used to write poetry as well at that age, most of it was incredibly morbid, now I just write my novel and that's it. I used to write ALL the time, but now I'm not so depressed and oppressed it doesn't feel necessary.
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Sleepy-Genius
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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 15th 2012, 11:36 pm

Yeah, I agree with that. Now most of my writing is essays, essays, essays. Sad...

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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 16th 2012, 12:21 am

I also used to write poetry. I miss it at times...

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PostSubject: Re: Sleepy's Thoughts   March 16th 2012, 3:11 pm

I used to write poetry too, and up until recently kept up pretty regularly with journaling. It's always nice to be able to look back on what you thought/felt at a certain time. I think it's important to keep older work and journals for that reason alone. Although, I realize sometimes memories can be "toxic", it's nice to step back into your former self for at least a few moments. I'm glad that you've kept your poetry from high school. Smile
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