Hello ladies (and a few gentlemen)

I'm in a bad situation in my heart... I am in love with someone who is kinda unsuitable for me... He has 2 kids and is completely unstable. But he is at a bad place in his life at this moment in time, who is to know how much better he will be when he grows? It's the situation I am in every day of my life... I want a man, but all the men in my life are still boys.
What should I do? I am unsure what I should do with my love life. Should I even contemplate love until I can be spoiled by a bank account? lol Certainly, I have a good friendship with Andrew, my housemate, but his love is a very dull thing. After spending a weekend with David (my new love interest) I now remember what I miss from a relationship. The only problem really is distance. He lives a state away from me. And it's across the ocean, so driving isn't an option. So either of us have to fly. It's an expensive situation, and a hard one for me... Do I choose stability over passion? Do I choose at all, or do I enjoy single life, as wonderful as it is...
What do you all think? It's a bit of a pickle... I told you, Cece, my life is always complicated lol

Mary,

I've been in a similar situation with a person who lived far away ...
I'll be very honest with you, NOT WORTH IT, unless it is proved that he will do everything for yours relationship.
I still in love for that person with whom I had this kind of relationship, it hurts a lot.
I don't think the fact that he has 2 kids is the problem... but his instable and the distance... yes

I don't know him to say if he is good or not for you.
But I'm saying this because I've been there twice and I hurt me a lot.
I would say that love overcomes the distances and bad situations, but does not exceed... it is exhausting, at least with me.

I hope everything went well with you and you are happy, but at least this kind of relationship with ME has never worked.

But maybe with you things will be good...

Thank you for your advice sweetheart, I really appreciate it... I'm so confused.

Anything...
I just don't want you to hurt as I was

I'll be ok... it already hurts a lot and I can't really do anything with him... just call and email and such. Just that no-one else makes me feel so wonderful... lol

Aw thanks Sergio *HUGS* It's like a love letter lol

Juliana seemed to be writing a letter with her "Mary, ...", so here gave me the idea xD

But you didn't answer to my question

Ah sorry lol Yes David has 2 kids. 3 actually. He's just not allowed to see the 3rd one :S

*votes out of this*
i suck at relationships LOL

i am still with a good for nothing boyfriend. he loves me but at times i feel like he holds be back in a way and i can get so easily mad.

i would say that you need to see him get his life together before you could have a relationship...seems like he has baggage that should be delt with first.

but i think talking and getting to know him would be a good idea but only if that would not cost you any pain.

Yeah... it would help if he talked to me lol Men are funny creatures. Very few like to talk, especially about what they want.

yea,i so get what you mean.


i had this guy who was trying to be my friend.

well i did not know him from outside the internet,but i knew one of his friends.

he wanted me to come over and spend the night and i freaked out about what my boyfriend would think and i got all panicky due to my social depression and now he ignores me...

i dont get men.

It's scary isn't it... how do we really know a guy really loves us for us and not for what we can give them? We only find out once they stop talking to us...

yea. men suck

That is a tough situation. But the most important thing I have come to know about love and relationships is that you should NEVER feel like you have to settle for anything. If your lacking something in a relationship...don't settle. There are tons of great guys out there that can give you everything you want from a relationship, and it tends to happen when you least expect it. I had chosen to stay with someone for years in a relationship that lacked so much...all it ended up in was a divorce and serious heartache.

And when I was least expecting it, my now fiance, just happened upon my life when it was at its worst and that was five years ago today, on my birthday haha. And never once did I ever feel like I settled. There was no distance barrier, no communication barrier and no passion barrier.

It's always good to try and make things work, but if you feel there is something missing or something just doesn't feel right, take a step back and access the situation and ask yourself is this what you want for your life? Sometimes the answer isn't always the easy one, but in the long run only you know what will be best for you. While I can't tell you what to do, I do hope that your situation gets better!

Shyne wrote:

Ah sorry lol Yes David has 2 kids. 3 actually. He's just not allowed to see the 3rd one :S

Did he tell you why? Insurance is an abuser. I don't like him for you.

Quote :

he wanted me to come over and spend the night and i freaked out about what my boyfriend would think and i got all panicky due to my social depression and now he ignores me...

yea. men suck

LOL!

Quote :

It's always good to try and make things work, but if you feel there is something missing or something just doesn't feel right, take a step back and access the situation and ask yourself is this what you want for your life? Sometimes the answer isn't always the easy one, but in the long run only you know what will be best for you. While I can't tell you what to do, I do hope that your situation gets better!

Perfect

i dont know shyne im just not a fan of long distant relationships. i swear im not being shallow or sth. but if it sounds so warm and fuzzy now to be happy when you're around and sick when u're not, in long term, it will hurt more than having to feel good from. being hurt now is way more better than getting really involved more and more i think.

Yeah... I have to agree with you Louma... I have had this rolling over in my head a lot too, the distance thing... I've decided not to be with anyone unless I have a chance to live with them in some way, shape or form. That way you learn who people really are.

very true^